While I munch, I shall pontificate.
(What is it about blogs that make me want to use big words?)
Tonight, after my very long day, I went to my parent's house to teach piano lessons and then hang out for a while. The door was locked so I rang the doorbell...and the World's Most Annoying Dogs (I shall hereafter refer to them as the WMAD) ran to the door and started barking their dang heads off. There isn't an appropriate way to explain how irritating the WMAD's barks are.
Anyway.
After my lessons, I hung out with the fam for a while. Actually, I hung out with my mom. Dad and Isaac were watching the Olympics, Ivey was playing across the street and Aaron was upstairs doing...Aaron things.
So Mom and I hashed out the world's problems- exchanged our "stories" of the week and discussed how to solve them. Those are always good talks...the kinds that Mom and I have. :)
Excuse me while I chase Kitty away from the salsa...
Okay, back.
So tonight I had another hour (or so) until Andrew got home...so here I am, eating chips and salsa, watching Kitty climb "Mt. Tuba" (Andrew's tuba case...which Kitty has claimed as her personal mountain), and writing this blog.
Thursdays are so long, but I like Thursday nights the best...because then it's all behind me. Now I have Friday to look forward to, and a peaceful morning with my hunny.
Here's something I was thinking about on my way home.
Wifehood and Motherhood
(Such a matronly thing to write about, right? Don't call me matronly, I might hit you with something.)
But here's what I was thinking:
When a woman becomes both a wife AND a mother, which title is most important? To put it in different words, are you first a wife, or first a mother?
At first, I thought "First, a mother"...but then, a husband and wife are the BASE of the family! They're the beginning, the sticky gooey stuff (glue?) that holds the family together.
I'm not even close to being a mom, but here is my idea:
A woman should be firstly a wife AND a mother. Both. But if it comes to choosing, then a woman will probably rightfully choose the family that needs her the most...which would probably be her children. Kids are young, impressionable...they need their mother's protection and love. If, God forbid, a woman HAD to choose between her husband and her child, I think she'd be justified in choosing her child. At least until the kid is an adult.
Once a kid is grown, I think it's another matter. Then, perhaps, "wife" is most important-- because the little peeps are out of the house and the husband needs her the most.
I guess it's an extreme scenerio: choosing between your husband and your kid. But it's an interesting thought, because I'm sure a wife and mother needs to choose which family member to cater to at certain points in her life.
Any thoughts?
(Am I really strange for thinking about this? Ehh...probably.)
Now, to re-emphasize my youth.
Today at college I took a few pictures of my friends and surroundings...and here they iz.
The storage room. Where interesting conversations take place, where we play trumpet songs on tubas, where we see how many bricks we can carry at one time.
Ann Marie and Danielle. The three of us are exclusive celebrators of TOMB SWEEPING DAY.
I have other pictures, but I've learned the hard way that you should load your pictures FIRST and THEN write your blog...otherwise you have to do a lot of dragging and re-spacing.
That's enough for one night.
God bless!
~Briana
-EDIT-
For those of you interested in joining the celebration of Tomb Sweeping Day (or are just curious), here's the Wiki: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qingming_Festival
4 comments:
Good questions, Briana. I've had to think about my identity, too, right now. I am definitely a mom as I'm home all day (well, except at night) and the majority of both Troy & my time is spent either working opposite schedules, watching our money fly away to kid things, etc... However, I try to make it a priority to be first a wife, then a mom. Honestly, kids LOVE seeing their parents love on each other and that in and of itself is a way to help your kids flourish. Them knowing that their parents love, adore, and enjoy spending time together is priceless. And also, as a person, I'm not just a mom or a wife. But what am I since all I do all day is be a mom & wife? Now that is a topic!! Troy & I don't get out very much and don't see each other pretty much Monday-Friday, but we enjoy the moments we can. One of our very favorite things to do is read books sitting in our armchairs that are arranged so that our feet share an ottoman. The kids can be running everywhere around us, but we're still hanging out together. It's fun to be creative!
I miss you so much! And this post made me really miss the music building! I shall definitely be celebrating Tomb Sweeping Day this year, though I can't visit any of my ancestors graves. I'll enjoy the spring weather though, and maybe find a cemetery. :)
Way to open a door of discussion, Bri! I have wanted to blog on this very thing so I do have a few thoughts.
I'm not exactly sure of the extent of the scenario you were thinking of, but here is my take.
I passionately have loved being a mom...to a fault. Somewhere along the line I realized that I had put you all before Dad...and then it ended up upsetting the whole balance of the family...and it hurt our relationship. While I am pretty sure you all have felt loved by me ( and Dad )most the time...many times your dad has not...and he quietly took a place of lesser attention. I think he figured it was just part of parenting too. I thought I WAS doing the right thing, but I really didn't have it in proper perspective.
If I were to go back, I would adjust a few things.
When the children are gone...you just have each other again. So many couples lose touch during the child rearing years...which is why I think we see divorces happening toward the end of child rearing...or mid-life affairs...the fist love life was not taken care of...and the children took first place.
It IS a hard balance for sure,the needs of kids are many and pressing...but if they don't have the security of both parents united...they feel the leak...and it becomes a weakness and a threat to them even if they can't say what it is.
Fortunately Dad and I had a turn around of sorts...one you all may not have even noticed, but it definitely made our marriage stronger and brought a better sense of peace and order in our home.
Good topic!!!
Theresa, I wanted to tell you that your post awhile back on your Xanga blog was really great and encouraging to me. The one when you wrote about what you just said above. Great advice and I've really taken that to heart. Thank you!
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