The Cruel Realization

When you're young, everyone is nice. Every neighbor child is your friend. Oh, they might be mean once in a while, but really, deep down, they're nice, good people.
The mail man is nice, the lady at the grocery store is nice, the man on the street...
Everyone is good, when you're young.

As you grow older, you see "nice" people do "bad" things. It's a devastating thing: to see the pedestals, on which you placed the people in your life, come crashing down. Suddenly they aren't so good. Their smiles aren't so pure and wise. You're older now, but you desperately cling to the thought that perhaps they don't know that they did wrong. Maybe they're just oblivious to the pain they're causing?
Some are.


But then, that thing they did? They do it again. Or something worse. And this time you realize that they KNEW what they were doing. They deliberately chose it. They did what they wanted, regardless of it being wrong.
This is a hard blow. One that still gets me...
I know people choose to do bad things, but part of me still holds so tightly to the pure and stainless image of mankind. I want to see everyone as "good". I want to believe that no one would purposely hurt another.
But people do.

The false hope turns into disappointment, because I will be let down.
The disappointment turns into shame, for I too, am human. These are my brothers and sisters!
The shame turns into anger, for don't we all have a choice?
The anger turns to helplessness. Because I can't MAKE anyone choose goodness.


The helplessness makes me turn to God...for only in Him can we choose righteousness. In our own strength, we're dirty, sinful, wrong. But in God we can find healing and life.

Lord Jesus, help us. We need You so desperately!