New day!

This is Andrew.

This is his wardrobe. Notice any patterns?





Today the impossible happened. I found shirts that were NOT vertically striped. See? And Andrew not only liked them, but bought them (and they were on clearance for $7:99!).




In other good news, Andrew and I made two different kinds of lasagna yesterday.
First, Portabello Lasagna with Basil Cream from Rache Ray's 'EveryDay' magazine. I stole the recipe from my mother-in-law. :) Due to the fact that I feel downright pudgy lately, I substituted the whipping cream for fat-free half & half, and I used skim milk to make the garlic sauce. I also used less butter than it called for, and less parmesan. It wasn't as knock-out amazing as I wanted it to be, but I bet with all the called-for fat, it would be better. :D It also needed more seasoning...I'm thinking some rosemary and thyme would do the trick.
If you want the recipe, let me know. :)

Next, we made 'Christmas Lasagna' from Chef John's FoodWishes blog. It was quite excellent! According to the chef, grateable mozerella isn't legit, so we made the treck to J.B. Russos & Sons (a GREAT place to go, anyway :), and got the real stuff. We probably could've gotten it at Meijer, but it was more fun to go to Russos. AND we had a gift card. :)

In my opinion, lasagna is always better the next day. Maybe something to do with the flavors having a chance to meld together? Chili is the same way. But today we thad the 'Christmas' lasagna for lunch and it was way better than yesterday.

And that's all for today. Andrew's making coffee now (in his nicely patterned shirt) and hugging Kitty...which is possibly the most adorable thing ever. Till next time!

~Briana

Food is one of my favorite things.

Perhaps inspired by the Julie and Julia movie, I decided to blog about my food conquests. Plus, food is so delicious and pretty to look at. :)

Today I made french onion soup...my absolute favorite soup of all time. There's nothing like caramelized onions gently simmered with a dash of sherry wine and homemade beef stock, topped with bubbling gruyere cheese. Mmmmmm.

My recipe came from Foodwishes...a blog that I often frequent for the great recipes. Here's the recipe.

I also made Chicken Bryan, a dish that Andrew and I love to order at Carrabba's, at special occasions. :) We've made it a couple times, and this recipe claims to be the original. It was perfect, but I think that the poster accidently switched measurements. If you make this, be sure to use 1/2 cup of white wine and 6 tbsp of lemon juice, not vice versa as in the recipe.
Mmmm...

(These are photos I found online, not mine. Next time I'll take pictures of my own. :) )

It would've been even better with garlic mashed potatoes, but I didn't have any potatoes left. :(

There you have it.

I think Andrew and I are making lasagna this week, so I'll post our adventure when it happens. :)

~Briana

Briana Soup

If I were a soup...

I would be egg drop soup.
No, never mind...that's just what sounds good right now.
I would have a strong, moral stock,

But with a few unanswered questions mixed in.

I would be a colorful soup...artsy and full of variety

A versatile soup...something that goes with a lot of different dishes.

I'd have a good dose of guilt, slightly flavoring everything
And I'd be made with obsessive perfectionism...

But never quite there.

I WOULD NOT have lima beans in me. Ick.

I WOULD have chicken in me...because chicken is healthy.

I would be served with insecurity,

And eaten with loyalty

And enjoyed for the most part...until I get cold.

I would be hard to find,

And maybe a little difficult all around,

But absolutely desperate to please the table guests.

I would be one of those soups that have a bunch of different names,

Depending on who's eating it.

I would contain certain spices

That no one could figure out...

That's what I would be

If I were a soup.

(This post is for my old friend Destiny, who said I should start blogging again. :D)

I take my faith very seriously.
I expect people who call themselves Christians to behave like Christians.
I don't expect perfection among my fellow believers, but I do expect my them to admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness...and change.
I expect these things not only from my peers but also from myself- not because I think it should be that way, but because it's how God has called us to be.

And yet, by even writing the above, I set myself up for labels like "prude" and "that girl who makes everyone else feel guilty".
In situations where I must chose between peer conversation and God's approval, dare I say what I believe in?
No, I will not participate in crude and obscene conversation. No, I don't watch TV that blasphemes the name of God and mocks Christianity. No, I don't think pornography is funny. I will not listen to perverse jokes about sex.

Why does my stomach tighten in anxiety even as I write these words?

Recently I've realized in a much deeper way how uncool it is to voice your convictions. When I dare to mention that God might not be pleased with the conversation, I am a wet blanket. A spoil-sport. Someone that others don't want to hang with. Who wants to be with someone who can't take a joke?

But this realization comes with a irevocable understand that I have no choice. Though none go with me, still I MUST follow. Even if my closest friends slowly distance themselves from me, I have to stand my ground and cling to what I know God has placed in my heart.
This is not some arbitrary moral code that I happened to be born with. This is the word of God. I dare not comprimise what I know God has called me to in order to fit in with others. There is no option here.

So now I must learn to balance this inner conviction with love. Jesus lived a life of righteousness and yet loved others with a love so deep that he chose to die so that they could live. He was hated and mocked and isolated (WAY more than I ever have been or ever will be!) and still he loved: fiercely, loyally, undeniably. I want to be like Jesus and speak the truth in love. I want to see my peers the way God that sees them. I want to take a stand in a way that draws people to God rather than repels them. I want ME to get out of the way and let JESUS shine through.


I have so far to go. Guide me, Lord Jesus.

This weekend I am going to Cedar Point with the VT Family!

By "VT Family" I mean:

Mike - Dad-in-law
Brenda - Mom-in-law

Josh - Bro-in-law

Brooke - Sister-in-law
Alyssa and Kirsten - Nieces

Tim - Bro-in-law

Meghan - Bro-in-law's gf

Nick - Bro-in-law
Jenna - Bro-in-law's gf

Kristen - Sis-in-law

Kyle -Sis-in-law's should-be-fiance

So yeah. Andrew's extremely excited to be riding all of the amazing rollercoasters. And I am too, I suppose...it's just that I haven't had a weekend for two weeks now and I dearly love my weekends. The quietness, the still moments, the second cup of coffee, the snuggling on the couch...

"You always need margin", my mom says. The blank spaces between things. I love margin.

I should not complain, though. Life is good. I spend too much time complaining, actually...I'm tired, I'm lonely, I don't like doing homework, I don't have enough time to go grocery shopping...

I'm actually sick of hearing my brain complain. I'm working on training myself to be thankful.

For my working legs. For dry and warm clothing. For my husband. For the opportunity to be educated. For the money to go grocery shopping!

I will train this brain to be happy! "We're gonna traaaiiin you.

Speaking of thankfulness, I found another thing for which to be thankful...concerning my husband. Not that there aren't a gazillion things to be thankful about concerning him.... :D
Here it is:

In general, "things" pop into my mind constantly. Funny pictures, ambitious ideas, strange commentaries, eye-opening realizations...and when I'm with Andrew I am completely free to open my mouth and spew said "things". He might respond with a laugh or a nod or a word of advice...or maybe nothing at all. But he listens. And he doesn't think I'm stupid or unimportant. He HEARS me.

You might laugh, but I really want to be heard. You'd be amazed at the many times when people just DON'T hear me! My friend Bethany says that I have one of those voices that just blend into the background. Bethany loves me so I don't feel insulted by this...just informed. It helps me realize that some people might just honestly not hear me. And it helps prepare me for those terrible moments when I start speaking and then someone else talks right over me. Oy vey.

But anyway...I appreciate Andrew because he truly listens to me and values what I say to him. That's...wow. It's just so cool to have someone like that in your life. My mom is like that too.

People probably think I'm odd because I always bring up my mom at school. I realized that this year. "My mom always says that...", or "My mom used to...", or "My mom thinks that..."

I think that's a compliment to her...it means that I value her opinion and that her actions have made a lasting impression on me.

See? I'm not that messed up. Let this be an encouragement to all first-born PKs...there is hope. Just MOVE OUT. And you will be better friends with your family. :P

(Kidding!...sortof.)

Word of the last-couple-weeks:
Snarky.

I really really really love that word. Snarky.

That's all. I'm going to play puzzle games online until Andrew gets home.

Cyclical. I like that word.

The first week of school is over.
Well. I guess it wasn't truly a week of school...just three days. But my 'School To Do' list is a week long.
I turned 22 on Thursday...oh, I suppose that was yesterday! I was telling my brother, Aaron, that 22 is kindof a 'meh' year. 20 is cool because it's 2 decades. 21 is cool because you can drink legally...which is sort of a milestone, I suppose. But 22 is just...22. In defiance of its mediocrity, I shall note that this is only the second time in my life that I have been a double number. 11 was the first time, of course...but I hardly remember being 11.

Today I found out that two of my old friends have 'unfriended' me. That's a sobering and depressing moment...when you type in someone's name only to find that their page is not 'available to the public'. Discovering one's status as 'public' and not 'friend' is...well, I sat quietly for a moment and then I cried.

Life is truly a cyclical experience. I remember when, in my first years of high school, I was extremely introverted and shy. I read books most of the time and felt very uncomfortable in public situations. In my later high school years I made a dramatic 180 and became the socializing queen of the homeschool band scene. I had many friends, I spent time talking on the phone (WHAT?) and felt almost completely secure in a social setting. I did have moments of anxiety, but those moments were usually when I was hosting an event and felt responsible for the happiness of those around me.

College was the slow death of my social life. I maintained a decent friend circle when I was a freshman. As a sophomore, my circle shrunk to a handful of close friends. In my junior year, my handful of school friends graduated or left... and now I am feeling quite alone. Not to say that I'm a social outcast at school. I certainly have a handful of friends whom I genuinely like talking to. But somehow I've managed to drive away, alienate or lose nearly all of the friends I had before...to all manner of situations. They weren't all awkward situations...just college life, I suppose.
I admit, I feel lonely.

BUT.

I do have Andrew. I couldn't feel more accepted or safe with him. I know he loves me. I thought this morning that if I could spend a day with ANYONE on earth, I would chose him. And I know he would say the same.
And my family is a treasure. My siblings are becoming true friends of mine, which is an amazing process to observe. I find that moving out improves the general feeling of love amongst all family members. :) My mom is my closest "girl" friend, :) and that's priceless to me.
And then there's River. I wouldn't leave this haven of love and security if you paid me millions. Honestly, I know I belong at River. The older I get the more I appreciate my church family.

So...perhaps this lonliness I feel at school isn't all for nothing. Maybe God is teaching me to look to my true friends...those people who have been here all along, who are honest and faithful and loving even when I fail them. My husband, my family and my church.
I'm sure that someday God will supply a "bosom friend" with whom I can be completely at ease. But until then, I will be happy with where I am. I will appreciate the connections I have.

And I'll work on my social anxieties and insecurities...
"God has not given me a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and a sound mind".

Of I go to write journals...of the academic sort. :)

Oh, you know...

Last post, I contemplated a use for my crazy quilt squares. Well, here ya go! My 'scrap bag'.
I'm not posing...I'm just naturally that cool.
:P


Tomorrow if the first day of school.
I can't say I'm particularly happy about it. I have one year left, and really, just one sememster of real classes. So I should be happy and excited, right? Well, I'm not.
I'm tired of school before I even start this year. I got a call from a learning center that I applied at this summer and they wanted to interview me for a full time position there... and I wanted so badly just to GO and start life. But I know I need to finish what I started. That's usually a good policy, right?


My school is a frustration to me.
When I first went there I was full of inspiration. I had been taking lessons from Mr. Good, which was an...amazing experience. I was ready to learn, ready to grow...I was getting on the CU train, headed to success.
But I feel as though somehow I've spent the past three years waiting for the train to actually take off.

The music department at CU has been at a trickling decline for some years now. In the time I've been at CU, we've switched department chairs twice. Mr. Hollinger, the band director, left my freshman year. We've been through 3 office secretaries: Anna, Amy and Susan...and now Susan's leaving too. Mr. Burghart was let go in my sophomore year. In the second semester of my sophomore year, my close friend Bethany switched schools. Andrew left to work full time. This year, Proffesor Weston and Professor Wakeman were let go. Dr. Bohn moved to different state, Mr. Peck retired and Mr. Britsch left to work at GVSU.
The CU music department that I thought was, is not. It's an crumbling foundation. It's a sinking ship.

A dilemma I face this year is whether or not I'll be in the CU brass quintet. I've been in it for the past three years and yet I'm very tired of it now. "My group" has moved on...Kelly and Kyle and Aaron have graduated and Andrew's working full time. I miss our quintet. It was, hands down, the best experience I had at CU. This year, I feel like I'm doing it out of obligation. I've asked the band director if there would be any other trumpet players willing to audition in my place...but I'm not sure if we have any other trumpet players this year. Last year there were two of us. One of us graduated.
But the other thing...the brass quintet is supposed to be a CU promoting group. We go to bring in new students and promote the school. But can I honestly tell the students that CU is a good place to go? If I saw myself in highschool, would I encourage myself to go there? I can't say...it's sad, but I can't say.

Perhaps as the year moves on, I'll feel more optimistic. My school does have many good attributes, outside of our department. I've learned MANY things from teachers in the Education department, particulary Professors Burgess and McAdams. I'll hold on to those things and press onward to a truly exciting future. It's true: I can't wait to be a teacher.

I've been very honest in this weblog...expressing things I haven't said publicly before. I guess I feel pretty safe considering the fact that I rarely get any readers. :)


Anyway, that's all for now. G'night!
~Bri